Archive Short Stories of our IF Journey
“Patience is the small acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you had in mind.” – David C. Allen
I remember my grandmother telling me to never pray for patience because God would grant me many opportunities to practice this request. Throughout the last five years we have travelled many peaks and valleys to becoming parents. We may not ever understand why we had to endure far too much loss but are remaining optimistic that God has a plan for growing our family. His plan for our life is providing ample time for his will/plan to fall into place and provide us with many opportunities to demonstrate our ability to practice patience & perseverance.
“Patience is not the ability to wait, but having a good attitude while waiting.” – Unknown
It has already been 30 days since my last update. I will continue to post as our family building journey progresses. Currently, we have received initial approvals (just a couple days ago) for our second gestational carrier and couldn’t be more thrilled! Many more steps in the process but it is looking very optimistic. We are taking this round a little slower, wiser if you will, ensuring we move forward one step at a time.
Many family and friends still do not completely understand what a gestational carrier is and what this new chapter consists of for the Huycks’. With that being said if you would like to understand or learn more about our journey visit the attached link (Resolve.org):
Another door closes…but wait!
July 5, 2015Journey#if #resolve #gc #infertility #risilient Edit
“We’ve received the medical transcripts from your GC (gestational/compassionate carrier), medical testing has almost been complete; we just need you to finish your paperwork with your attorney to move forward.” These were the words we received from our gestational carrier coordinator.
I finally settled on an attorney after contacting many, looking for a good “fit” for us and our circumstances. Someone that would hear out our needs and also provide detailed feedback so we could support our gestational carrier. Well, we met her: Erin Johnson in Lake Oswego, Oregon. (http://www.robinsonlaw.squarespace.com)
Erin was able to provide a detailed document/contract that covered everything from what to expect, our child’s birth, delivery of our baby and what to expect afterward. The meeting went flawlessly; she set my heart at ease and excited to represent our family in this miracle. We anticipated the first draft of our contract to be delivered one week later. We signed the document that evening and sent it via email at 10:38pm. I specifically remember the time because it felt like our family building opportunity was quickly becoming reality. The anticipation and excitement had overwhelmingly taken over my emotions.
The next morning at I received a call from my gestational coordinator but was unable to answer due to being at work with clients. She left a voicemail that awaited me when I was finished with my day. The voicemail said something to the effect of “……call me at your earliest convenience”. Having been a patient at ORM (oregonreproductivemedicine.com) for 5 years, you learn good news ALWAYS gets left on the voicemail and BAD news always seems to require a “call back”.
Baffled by why she needed a call back- I dialed her up at the end of my day. My coordinator shared that unfortunately we would not be able to move forward with our gestational carrier due to complications. I tried to keep it together on the phone with our coordinator but after talking it through over an extended period of time the tears could not be withheld.
I simply don’t understand the plan for our life and how this burning desire to build a family has not dimmed even with so much heartache.
I am so thankful that a friend could be so brave to offer to carry our child, that everything seemed to be lining up so smoothly and utterly disappointed that in one phone call we were back to square one.
This journey is teaching me many things: to be risilient, to never give up and stay humble. Though these lessons do not seem fair or kind when in the heat of the moment of what seems like loss and extreme frustration. We are experiencing blessings and building relationships at a level that would not be possible without this process. These relationships and blessings could not be possible without God’s grace. Being humbled to ask for help was something I was far to prideful to admit in the beginning nor did I think we would have gone 5 years, exhausting means and still be hopeful for our miracle, yet here we are… still hopeful for our miracle.
As this journey has progressed we have been overwhelmed with the kindness from others in the form of prayer, financial support to the long process and words of encouragement.
Here’s the but wait! Keep reading…
Not even two days later I reached out to a friend that had once stated our story had inspired her (2 years ago) to become a surrogate. Little did we know I would be reaching out to her and asking if she would consider carrying our child for me. We talked for a hour that night and the days to follow…
Though in the beginning stages we are hopeful we may have a match!
We are so grateful to our beautiful friends for your support and uplifting messages. To these women, my friends, who are willing to try to carry our babies there are no words that can describe the utmost gratitude I feel toward you. You have hearts of gold and am so thankful that God has placed you in my life.
More updates to come… (hopefully soon!)
Chapter Closes: February 2015
February 21, 2015Journey#ivf #if #resolve #chapter closes Edit
On February 18th we learned that after every effort, we did all that we could but I will not be able to conceive our child. Even with a positive pregnancy test this morning, the result was still just too low for our babies to survive. The doctor’s reassured us both over and over that we have done everything we could but we are that very small number that is simply “unexplained”.
Today is a very hard day and neither of us understand why we have traveled this road together and that doors continued to open until today. We are trying to find closure, perhaps we never will until we get to heaven and can ask him face to face. In the meantime, we are taking time. Taking time to find what “normal” is for us after almost 5 years of fertility treatments, appointments, being stretched physically/ emotionally/ financially.
With time I’m sure we will want to talk about it but for now it all just hurts. Dreams of what we thought and believed would be our miracle changed today.
This doesn’t mean our miracle won’t come in the form of adoption or even possibly a gestational carrier (we have 2 snow babies in waiting). We are considering our options and are excited for what the future may hold for the Huyck family.
If the next time I (we) see you and tears well quickly, please know no words needed but hugs are always gladly accepted. Taking life one day at a time and holding onto the one thing we know in being thankful to have each other.
Thank you for loving us through all of this journey and being a support.
Love, Aaron and Mollie
No stress January?
February 1, 2015Journey#ivf #if #fet #resolve #nostress #inGodshands Edit
January Goal = Keep Stress Levels Low
January is my busy month annually in the fitness industry as the “New Years Resolution” rush begins promptly with the stroke of midnight. If this wasn’t all encompassing in itself… layer in my FET protocol and and wait a surprise audit my the State Revenue Department all in the same month.
If it’s not enough to feel inadequate during infertility treatments, layer in the government wanting to question every tax deduction related to every procedure and trying to wrap it all up in a bow and not stress for our last try.
So, this morning led to our final appointment before I begin the progesterone and autoimmune portion of the protocol followed by us meeting with the tax auditor this afternoon.
This morning led to successful results. We progress onto the next steps starting Sunday. The ridiculous stress of the week I shared with my doctor what was happening and her expressing her sincere apology followed by a “you have them call me and I’ll tell them where all of your funds have gone, Oregon Reproductive Medicine!”
Finished the week with a relaxation session of acupuncture and with a side of fender bender as I left the parking lot. (While listening to a sermon oddly enough).
God, please hold me tight during February and in letting go of the stress with each breathe and creating the best home for our little miracles. I pray you will keep our babies safe and with us here on earth in the home you’ve created for our babies, as we long to meet your incredible creations and experience parenting through your guidance.