"I would share one piece of advice that made a big difference in our experience: be on the same team. The journey is already so hard and stressful as it is. There are many decisions being thrown at you between timing, finances, different options and paths, clinics and doctors, extra tests or steps. Remembering we were on the same team and wanting the same outcome become a really important foundation." - Bethany
I had the pleasure meeting Bethany through social media when I absolutely fell in love with an Advent Calendar she and her husband created. When I learned of why they created these incredible Advent Calendars, I loved them even more! I can't wait for you to meet them too!
About Bethany and Garrett:
My husband, Garrett, and I (and our cat, Boots :) live in Bend, Oregon. We love living in Bend, surrounded by mountains and great coffee shops. My husband is a snowboarding, outdoor enthusiast and I tag along from time to time. My passion lies in design, of all shapes and sizes. We run a business together and are usually dreaming up a new idea or project we can both be creative with. This fall our family will be doubling as we expect the arrival our miracle little twins.
How can you relate to other women/men experiencing infertility?
Having gone through it for almost 4 years, infertility is definitely a part of our lives that we feel very connected to and impacted by. I’m a firm believer that everyone’s experience and journey is different, regardless of the similarities in path, we all go through them in our own way, with our own feelings and perspectives. That being said, there is a definite understanding formed between people having gone through the unique heartache that infertility brings. In many ways, it feels like we’re all in it alone, together.
How did you decide which clinic to choose? What were the characteristics you looked for in both your provider and clinical team?
Looking back we are so thankful we took the time to decide, instead of defaulting by proximity or price. There are no fertility clinics or doctors in our town, so we knew we’d have to travel. We were fortunate to have a couple options within driving distance. I heard advice through a podcast about clinic selection and how important it was so we took the time to do the research, compare the processes and learn about their success rates. Although it wasn’t as affordable or as close, we chose to go to ORM Fertility (Oregon Reproductive Medicine) in Portland. Every step was customized towards our needs and situation, it wasn’t a standard process or procedure. We had our own team, that we could reach at any point with any questions. We were closely monitored from testing, to diet, to each procedure along the way.
Every interaction confirmed our feelings— which allowed me to rest and trust them along the way, without doubt and stress.
What is one thing you would share with other couples in the midst of their journey?
I would share one piece of advice that made a big difference in our experience: be on the same team. The journey is already so hard and stressful as it is. There are many decisions being thrown at you between timing, finances, different options and paths, clinics and doctors, extra tests or steps. Remembering we were on the same team and wanting the same outcome become a really important foundation. Making decisions together and going to appointments together kept us on the same page.
Also if I could add one more, it would be to allow grace for yourself. It’s ok to not be ok.
What is one question you wish friends, family or the IF (infertility) community would ask you?
It sounds simple but during the process, we really just wanted people to ask us how we were doing. It felt like such a huge part of our daily lives but it also felt weird to just bring it up. Being able to talk about it and share— the good and the bad — really helped.
What is your favorite quote or motivation you held onto during your journey to growing your family?
We held on strongly to our faith and that a child was promised to us. There were definitely moments of doubts. We found ourselves wondering: if this was suppose to be, why was it so hard? So we took time to check in and make sure this is what we still believed. It always came back to yes — this was our plan.
I was given many encouraging moments, prayers and scriptures throughout the 4 years but right before we our started the egg retrieval process, there was a big one for me. I was feeling scared, nervous (and pumped full or hormones) and I came across a scripture at the perfect time. It gave me the courage to push through with confidence.
Romans 4:21: He was fully convinced God was able to do as he promised.
To learn more about Bethany and Garrett and their journey and how you can purchase your Advent Calendar - Be sure to view their website: forthewait.com
"The Thrill of Hope: The season of advent is rich with hope and anticipation of the birth of Christ. It is a season of waiting and expectancy. We too are in a time of waiting and anticipation for the arrival of our own child, a promise we have held onto for many years. May this advent calendar be a reminder to you of the promised placed in your heart. And as you fill it each season with special treats, we thank you from the bottom of our hears for being a blessing in our journey. the thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices. - Garrett & Bethany"
Bethany and Garrett have graciously shared a pre-order code through Sunday before the website goes "live". Enter: forthewait at forthewait.com for access to their website, and pre-order your Advent Calendar. Shipping will be November 1st! Limited Edition so don't miss your opportunity for this incredible annual keepsake!